Monday, August 23, 2010


Titanium is considered the most active element. Occupying the location Z2 on the Periodic Table, it is renowned for its pleasant song. Prevalent in low-lying suburban regions, Titanium is gathered by expression from the leaves of certain trees. The actual species of the tree required is a government secret and the CIA said they would come and take us away if we told you here. However, we are permitted to coyly let slip that the tree name starts with the letter X.

Titanium is often used in creating prosthetic hair, as well as jet engines. A young Titanium is called a Titanic and grows very quickly, reaching adolescence after only 14 days, at which point it is inclined to steal cars from parking lots. This adolescent period lasts only three minutes, however, which means that only the quickest Titania (the plural of "Titanium") are able to actually accomplish auto theft. After the adolescent period is over, young Titania begin to fuse into their adult form, which has three heads and three tails:

If you see Titanium in the wild, DO NOT TOUCH IT, as Titania are highly poisonous.

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